September 10, 2009
As a 43-year-old solitary guy that is gay recently i had my very first spanking experience and have always been now experiencing extreme shame and self-loathing. I became in a really vanilla that is long-term for many of my adult life rather than surely got to experience anything remotely kinky, but I’ve had a pastime inside it.
we quickly blew and quickly left. There clearly was no sex other than me personally jerking myself whilst getting struck. Now personally i think simply awful. It is perhaps not the spanking it self, but alternatively the nature that is anonymous of i did so. This sort of hookup is simply not my thing, when I have always been familiar with intercourse when you look at the context of a loving, committed relationship. We really feel just like I’ve allow myself down, like We dropped my requirements, and I also worry I’m sliding down that slippery slope into a life of anonymous, kinky encounters. I’ve never ever wished to be certainly one of “those dudes.†I understand that sounds judgmental, but it’s the way I feel plus it’s killing me personally.
At this time we can’t eat, we can’t rest, and I also feel just like puking on a regular basis. We can’t keep in touch with some of my buddies about this—I’m too embarrassed. Please help place my head at simplicity. Please let me know if getting spanked with a hand and paddles is dangerous for almost any sexually transmitted infections.